some updation

Since my last update I haven’t been able to establish any more of a regular schedule than I had beforehand. It seems like this is going to be the case for the next year and a half. Anyhow here is an update from the last time I was on here.

Teaching life skills at the CEG has not gotten any easier and I am really looking forward for the school year to be over. Fortunately, that’s in about a month. It’s not that I don’t like the students, for the most part I do. It’s that trying to engage them in a discussion about goals or self-esteem, and do it in a way that helps them internalize the concepts, is far from an easy task. I got particularly frustrated in one class when I decided to do a review and asked them to give me a definition of self-esteem. Keep in mind that we spent an entire class period talking about it. Only one person out of two huge classes could give me an accurate definition. They would say, “it’s when you love your husband or wife” or “when you show your friend that you love them” or “when you properly love other people” or “the love that God gives you.” When I have such a hard time keeping their attention and when it appears they are not retaining anything, I feel like the time I spend in preparation for and in the classroom is a waste of time. But then I try to be more optimistic and think that maybe there are people in the classes that are learning something, they just are not vocal about it. And that maybe even the kids that seem to enjoy being obnoxious are unconsciously learning something that they’ll benifit from later on. And that maybe my mere presence in the classroom is making a positive difference. I mean, I do get positive reinforcement by students. They seem to be happy when I get there at the beginning of the class and they are really nice to me outside of class. This is definitely not enough to keep me in the classroom next year. I want to keep working with students but I am only going to do it as an extra-curricular thing, that way the number of students will be limited and the ones that are present will want to be there.

My homologue and I invited the girls from some classes at the primary school and the girls at the CEG to form a soccer team. I bought a soccer ball in Atakpamé a few weeks ago for that purpose. We’ve had one “team practice,” which turned out to be a very informal, do-whatever-you-want soccer game between the girls that showed up. I was going to play but being in the field made me realize just how much I don’t know how to play. I enjoyed watching them play, though. Another reason why the first practice was so hectic was because my homologue, being the sports teacher at the CEG, is going to be the coach. Sadly, a teacher at the primary school died the day before, so my homologue wasn’t there. My hope for the team is that it’ll be more of a girls’ club. I’ll do lifeskills-esque activities and talk about issues concerning girls. We’ll see how that goes.

Some other aspirations for the upcoming months: I want to start the English club I never ended up starting way back when. Me and Alicia (my closest neighbor and health volunteer) will hopefully do vacation camps (maybe in July or August) in my village and in hers with students going from the primary school to the CEG. Another idea I had was forming a health club in both of our villages and holding some kind of competition between them. Kind of Jeopardy style. Since I just had my in-service training last week, I have a lot of other ideas that might work. I know I’ve been saying this for a while now, but I really do feel like I’m getting to a point where things will start coming together.

Kids are the best and worst part of my service. They can uplift my mood in a second but can push my buttons just as quickly. Don’t let their cute pictures fool you. To end on a positive note… I really do love them.

Tanti left for Ghana a couple weeks ago. I’m not sure if she’ll be coming back or not. I did hear from her recently and it sounds like she’s doing well. It’s weird not having her around and I do miss her for the most part, but I think it worked out for the best. I might even see her again before I know it. Things here tend to change unexpectedly all the time. I’ve learned to expect the unexpected… make sense?

I’m starting to get to the point of actually feeling at home at home. I sleep the best in my own bed and when I feel sick, I feel best when I’m on my own couch reading. And I feel cleanest when I take a shower from my own bucket. Something that’s great is that since my space is so small and I don’t have that much stuff, I haven’t lost anything because there’s not much to lose or where to lose it. M’Poti itself is becoming more familiar to me—I can veer from a path and not be afraid of getting lost. It helps that M’Poti is not a very big village. I intend to do a lot more exploring. For a few different reasons, I’m not sure that I’ll ever truly feel like I live live here, but experiencing that level of comfort isn’t necessary for having an incredible experience. So it's alright.