I'll be going to Ghana next week! I've heard a lot about Accra and I'm excited to finally get to go see it. I might actually set foot in a mall. It'll be crazy.
I'm also excited about visiting my host family in Agou on the way out. It'll be interesting to be in Agou after having experienced Togo on my own. I'll come back to Togo through Lomé and will do my best to post some pictures then.
Next month is June and camps for apprenices and students are going to start. I wasn't a big camp goer when I was younger, but based on what I hear about these ones, I'm really looking forward to being a counselor at one. I'll be working with girl students.
Please don't forget to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as life moves forward. Peace, love, and blessings to you all!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
why christianity is my song
I’ve known about Jesus practically my whole life. I became interested in learning more about him in high school. I considered myself in a relationship with him shortly after I started to show interest, but in retrospect, I don’t think it was until college that I started to take this relationship more seriously. It always seemed like wishful thinking. Like I had an imaginary friend. I was afraid to question the relationship for fear that my bubble would pop. Through my experiences and relationships at Seattle Pacific University, this relationship started to feel more and more real, though not without some significant struggle and questioning. The superficial, sugar-coated relationship I started out with about 6 years ago has matured; being more genuine than it has ever been, still as sweet (though in different ways), and a pain in the ass at times.
My time in Togo has been another significant contributor to the evolution of my faith. I have had the opportunity to engage in very interesting conversations with people I really admire, I have read books that have challenged and supported my views, and I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on all of this. So this is why Christianity is my song: because, by the grace of God, my heart has been opened enough to experience the divine beauty a relationship with Jesus Christ has to offer. In spite of any resistance on my part, in spite of the brokenness of the world, God has been gracious enough to make his or her love available to the most ordinary and most undeserving. And the good news is that God is not confined to religion. Religion is meant to be a sacrament, a means for experiencing the sacred. It is not the sacred itself.
The books I’ve gotten to read have all been incredible, but there are quotes from two that I would like to share. The first is a book titled Loving Jesus.
“The presence of our risen Lord Jesus Christ is not realized in any one individual, but definitely in the fellowship or interaction that takes place between individuals…
It is very important for Christians to be able to think rationally, intellectually, and scientifically about the world in which they live, but it is also very important that such thought processes not destroy their powers of imagination…
The Bible teaches that faith is a gift of God, and so I am not sure that there is anything that we can do to acquire more of it. If God has given you only a little bit of faith then you will be a person of little faith for the rest of your life. Thank God for the faith that you have—and learn how to use it in ways that will draw you closer to God…”
And from The Heart of Christianity…
“Being Christian is not about meeting requirements for a future reward in an afterlife, and not very much about believing. Rather, the Christian life is about a relationship with God that transforms life in the present…
Salvation is about life with God, life in the presence of God, now and forever.
(by Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish Diplomat and Christian mystic)
Give us pure hears that we may see you;
Humble hearts, that we may hear you;
Hearths of love, that we may serve you;
Hearts of faith, that we may abide in you.
(On Turning Ten by Billy Collins)
The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I’m coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chickenpox of the soul.
You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my back and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.
But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.
This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say goodbye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.
It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.
(Thomas Merton, 20th century monk)
Life is this simple. We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent, and God is shining through it all the time. This is not just a fable or a nice story. It is true. If we abandon ourselves to God and forget ourselves, we see it sometimes, and we see it maybe frequently. God shows himself everywhere, in everything—in people and in things and in nature and in events. It becomes very obvious that God is everywhere and in everything and we cannot be without him. It’s impossible. The only thing is that we don’t see it.
(“This is my Song”—20th century hymn)
This is my Song, O God of all the nations,
A song of peace for lands afar and mine.
This is my home, the country where my heart is;
Here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine;
But other hearts in other lands are beating.
With hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.
My country’s skies are bluer than the ocean
And sunlight beams on cloverleaf and pine;
But other lands have sunlight too and clover
And skies are everywhere as blue as mine.
O hear my song, O God of all the nations,
A song of peace for their land and for mine.”
My time in Togo has been another significant contributor to the evolution of my faith. I have had the opportunity to engage in very interesting conversations with people I really admire, I have read books that have challenged and supported my views, and I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on all of this. So this is why Christianity is my song: because, by the grace of God, my heart has been opened enough to experience the divine beauty a relationship with Jesus Christ has to offer. In spite of any resistance on my part, in spite of the brokenness of the world, God has been gracious enough to make his or her love available to the most ordinary and most undeserving. And the good news is that God is not confined to religion. Religion is meant to be a sacrament, a means for experiencing the sacred. It is not the sacred itself.
The books I’ve gotten to read have all been incredible, but there are quotes from two that I would like to share. The first is a book titled Loving Jesus.
“The presence of our risen Lord Jesus Christ is not realized in any one individual, but definitely in the fellowship or interaction that takes place between individuals…
It is very important for Christians to be able to think rationally, intellectually, and scientifically about the world in which they live, but it is also very important that such thought processes not destroy their powers of imagination…
The Bible teaches that faith is a gift of God, and so I am not sure that there is anything that we can do to acquire more of it. If God has given you only a little bit of faith then you will be a person of little faith for the rest of your life. Thank God for the faith that you have—and learn how to use it in ways that will draw you closer to God…”
And from The Heart of Christianity…
“Being Christian is not about meeting requirements for a future reward in an afterlife, and not very much about believing. Rather, the Christian life is about a relationship with God that transforms life in the present…
Salvation is about life with God, life in the presence of God, now and forever.
(by Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish Diplomat and Christian mystic)
Give us pure hears that we may see you;
Humble hearts, that we may hear you;
Hearths of love, that we may serve you;
Hearts of faith, that we may abide in you.
(On Turning Ten by Billy Collins)
The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I’m coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chickenpox of the soul.
You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my back and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.
But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.
This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say goodbye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.
It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.
(Thomas Merton, 20th century monk)
Life is this simple. We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent, and God is shining through it all the time. This is not just a fable or a nice story. It is true. If we abandon ourselves to God and forget ourselves, we see it sometimes, and we see it maybe frequently. God shows himself everywhere, in everything—in people and in things and in nature and in events. It becomes very obvious that God is everywhere and in everything and we cannot be without him. It’s impossible. The only thing is that we don’t see it.
(“This is my Song”—20th century hymn)
This is my Song, O God of all the nations,
A song of peace for lands afar and mine.
This is my home, the country where my heart is;
Here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine;
But other hearts in other lands are beating.
With hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.
My country’s skies are bluer than the ocean
And sunlight beams on cloverleaf and pine;
But other lands have sunlight too and clover
And skies are everywhere as blue as mine.
O hear my song, O God of all the nations,
A song of peace for their land and for mine.”
première mai and a missed marriage ceremony
The first of May is a major holiday here in Togo. It is greatly anticipated and the party the day of definitely beats the parties thrown for any other holiday I've been around to experience. Apparently there was supposed to be a parade and soccer game, but because of the unexpected death of the primary school teacher, those got cancelled. They still had lots of music, dancing, and drinks to go around, though. Thing with parties here is that they tend to extend for at least the next day or two after the actual party day. The same ambiance was around the village on the second and school ended up getting out after a couple hours because only one teacher showed up to school. C'était à cause de la fete, quoi.
The reason for the festivities? It's some kind of worker's appreciation day. Like Labor Day in the States, I guess.
That weekend was another party because a neighbor lady was getting married. In anticipation of the wedding, the bride-to-be was selling a pagne so that all the women could be wearing the same one. I bought some and had it made into an outfit and I was sad to miss the ceremony, especially since I haven't had the opportunity to attend any yet. They were going to start the ceremony in Pagala, then bring her up to Tdjan (about 5K away from me), then finish it up in M'Poti. It would have been interesting to see. I'll just have to wait to hear about it when I get back to village.
The reason for the festivities? It's some kind of worker's appreciation day. Like Labor Day in the States, I guess.
That weekend was another party because a neighbor lady was getting married. In anticipation of the wedding, the bride-to-be was selling a pagne so that all the women could be wearing the same one. I bought some and had it made into an outfit and I was sad to miss the ceremony, especially since I haven't had the opportunity to attend any yet. They were going to start the ceremony in Pagala, then bring her up to Tdjan (about 5K away from me), then finish it up in M'Poti. It would have been interesting to see. I'll just have to wait to hear about it when I get back to village.
some updation
Since my last update I haven’t been able to establish any more of a regular schedule than I had beforehand. It seems like this is going to be the case for the next year and a half. Anyhow here is an update from the last time I was on here.
Teaching life skills at the CEG has not gotten any easier and I am really looking forward for the school year to be over. Fortunately, that’s in about a month. It’s not that I don’t like the students, for the most part I do. It’s that trying to engage them in a discussion about goals or self-esteem, and do it in a way that helps them internalize the concepts, is far from an easy task. I got particularly frustrated in one class when I decided to do a review and asked them to give me a definition of self-esteem. Keep in mind that we spent an entire class period talking about it. Only one person out of two huge classes could give me an accurate definition. They would say, “it’s when you love your husband or wife” or “when you show your friend that you love them” or “when you properly love other people” or “the love that God gives you.” When I have such a hard time keeping their attention and when it appears they are not retaining anything, I feel like the time I spend in preparation for and in the classroom is a waste of time. But then I try to be more optimistic and think that maybe there are people in the classes that are learning something, they just are not vocal about it. And that maybe even the kids that seem to enjoy being obnoxious are unconsciously learning something that they’ll benifit from later on. And that maybe my mere presence in the classroom is making a positive difference. I mean, I do get positive reinforcement by students. They seem to be happy when I get there at the beginning of the class and they are really nice to me outside of class. This is definitely not enough to keep me in the classroom next year. I want to keep working with students but I am only going to do it as an extra-curricular thing, that way the number of students will be limited and the ones that are present will want to be there.
My homologue and I invited the girls from some classes at the primary school and the girls at the CEG to form a soccer team. I bought a soccer ball in Atakpamé a few weeks ago for that purpose. We’ve had one “team practice,” which turned out to be a very informal, do-whatever-you-want soccer game between the girls that showed up. I was going to play but being in the field made me realize just how much I don’t know how to play. I enjoyed watching them play, though. Another reason why the first practice was so hectic was because my homologue, being the sports teacher at the CEG, is going to be the coach. Sadly, a teacher at the primary school died the day before, so my homologue wasn’t there. My hope for the team is that it’ll be more of a girls’ club. I’ll do lifeskills-esque activities and talk about issues concerning girls. We’ll see how that goes.
Some other aspirations for the upcoming months: I want to start the English club I never ended up starting way back when. Me and Alicia (my closest neighbor and health volunteer) will hopefully do vacation camps (maybe in July or August) in my village and in hers with students going from the primary school to the CEG. Another idea I had was forming a health club in both of our villages and holding some kind of competition between them. Kind of Jeopardy style. Since I just had my in-service training last week, I have a lot of other ideas that might work. I know I’ve been saying this for a while now, but I really do feel like I’m getting to a point where things will start coming together.
Kids are the best and worst part of my service. They can uplift my mood in a second but can push my buttons just as quickly. Don’t let their cute pictures fool you. To end on a positive note… I really do love them.
Tanti left for Ghana a couple weeks ago. I’m not sure if she’ll be coming back or not. I did hear from her recently and it sounds like she’s doing well. It’s weird not having her around and I do miss her for the most part, but I think it worked out for the best. I might even see her again before I know it. Things here tend to change unexpectedly all the time. I’ve learned to expect the unexpected… make sense?
I’m starting to get to the point of actually feeling at home at home. I sleep the best in my own bed and when I feel sick, I feel best when I’m on my own couch reading. And I feel cleanest when I take a shower from my own bucket. Something that’s great is that since my space is so small and I don’t have that much stuff, I haven’t lost anything because there’s not much to lose or where to lose it. M’Poti itself is becoming more familiar to me—I can veer from a path and not be afraid of getting lost. It helps that M’Poti is not a very big village. I intend to do a lot more exploring. For a few different reasons, I’m not sure that I’ll ever truly feel like I live live here, but experiencing that level of comfort isn’t necessary for having an incredible experience. So it's alright.
Teaching life skills at the CEG has not gotten any easier and I am really looking forward for the school year to be over. Fortunately, that’s in about a month. It’s not that I don’t like the students, for the most part I do. It’s that trying to engage them in a discussion about goals or self-esteem, and do it in a way that helps them internalize the concepts, is far from an easy task. I got particularly frustrated in one class when I decided to do a review and asked them to give me a definition of self-esteem. Keep in mind that we spent an entire class period talking about it. Only one person out of two huge classes could give me an accurate definition. They would say, “it’s when you love your husband or wife” or “when you show your friend that you love them” or “when you properly love other people” or “the love that God gives you.” When I have such a hard time keeping their attention and when it appears they are not retaining anything, I feel like the time I spend in preparation for and in the classroom is a waste of time. But then I try to be more optimistic and think that maybe there are people in the classes that are learning something, they just are not vocal about it. And that maybe even the kids that seem to enjoy being obnoxious are unconsciously learning something that they’ll benifit from later on. And that maybe my mere presence in the classroom is making a positive difference. I mean, I do get positive reinforcement by students. They seem to be happy when I get there at the beginning of the class and they are really nice to me outside of class. This is definitely not enough to keep me in the classroom next year. I want to keep working with students but I am only going to do it as an extra-curricular thing, that way the number of students will be limited and the ones that are present will want to be there.
My homologue and I invited the girls from some classes at the primary school and the girls at the CEG to form a soccer team. I bought a soccer ball in Atakpamé a few weeks ago for that purpose. We’ve had one “team practice,” which turned out to be a very informal, do-whatever-you-want soccer game between the girls that showed up. I was going to play but being in the field made me realize just how much I don’t know how to play. I enjoyed watching them play, though. Another reason why the first practice was so hectic was because my homologue, being the sports teacher at the CEG, is going to be the coach. Sadly, a teacher at the primary school died the day before, so my homologue wasn’t there. My hope for the team is that it’ll be more of a girls’ club. I’ll do lifeskills-esque activities and talk about issues concerning girls. We’ll see how that goes.
Some other aspirations for the upcoming months: I want to start the English club I never ended up starting way back when. Me and Alicia (my closest neighbor and health volunteer) will hopefully do vacation camps (maybe in July or August) in my village and in hers with students going from the primary school to the CEG. Another idea I had was forming a health club in both of our villages and holding some kind of competition between them. Kind of Jeopardy style. Since I just had my in-service training last week, I have a lot of other ideas that might work. I know I’ve been saying this for a while now, but I really do feel like I’m getting to a point where things will start coming together.
Kids are the best and worst part of my service. They can uplift my mood in a second but can push my buttons just as quickly. Don’t let their cute pictures fool you. To end on a positive note… I really do love them.
Tanti left for Ghana a couple weeks ago. I’m not sure if she’ll be coming back or not. I did hear from her recently and it sounds like she’s doing well. It’s weird not having her around and I do miss her for the most part, but I think it worked out for the best. I might even see her again before I know it. Things here tend to change unexpectedly all the time. I’ve learned to expect the unexpected… make sense?
I’m starting to get to the point of actually feeling at home at home. I sleep the best in my own bed and when I feel sick, I feel best when I’m on my own couch reading. And I feel cleanest when I take a shower from my own bucket. Something that’s great is that since my space is so small and I don’t have that much stuff, I haven’t lost anything because there’s not much to lose or where to lose it. M’Poti itself is becoming more familiar to me—I can veer from a path and not be afraid of getting lost. It helps that M’Poti is not a very big village. I intend to do a lot more exploring. For a few different reasons, I’m not sure that I’ll ever truly feel like I live live here, but experiencing that level of comfort isn’t necessary for having an incredible experience. So it's alright.
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