i haven't been doing a very good job at keeping this things updated lately and goodness knows i have a lot i'd like to share. i made a quick trip to atakpamé with a few goals and one of them was to write and post updates. well i got the first part done but with everything else i had to do i won't have the chance to type and post them now. but i just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and a good beginning of the holiday season. i know it can be a stressful time but my prayer is that this year people are able to draw nearer to the raison d'etre of the holidays. if that makes sense.
one thing i would like to put out there before next time though... there have been a few CEG students that have requested to be put into contact with people from the states. if anyone has an interest in doing this in some way or have an idea of ways i could set something up please let me know!
i'll do my best to do a better update in the next couple weeks and to post new pictures too. thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
so it is
hello world. today i am in lome to do the welcome week orientation stuff for the new group of GEE and NRM volunteers coming in. THAT means i've been in togo for just about a year. right now a few days short of that. how does that feel? it's kind of mixed emotions. on the one hand i think "a year already? that was quick." but then in the same breath (as much breath as there is in a thought), i think "woah. i've been out of america for a long time." as i reflect on my experiences the past twelve months, i become more confident that this is really where i am meant to be at this point in my life, despite the doubts that tend to creep in every now and then. i've met such incredible and diverse people. i've become more in touch with my own strengths and shortcomings as a person. i've been forced to do a lot of self reflection and widen my world view. all sorts of philisophical mumbo jumbo. but the thing is that all those things people say about crazy opportunities like this are so true. but it's not until you experience it for yourself do you ever really internalize what all those words mean. the imagination does great and unique things for us, but there's nothing like real life, first hand experience. so what do i suggest? move to togo and live here for two years. OR just go somewhere different and spend a significant amount of time there. whether that's a few miles away or a few countries away. just go somewhere where you don't feel comfortable. where you have to ask questions so you don't look and feel like an idiot. where you have to push the limits of your patience. get to know people that don't think like you and learn from them. there is ALWAYS something to learn. don't miss the opportunity. and always thank God at the end of the day for it.
i wish i was better at writing and could better describe my life right now. but because i've never been a particularly articulate person (believe it or not...), i would never be able to give it justice. i try though. and right now i'm going to just keep in simple and just share some of the highlights from the past monthish. voila.
Me and alicia did two day camps in both her and my villages with primary school students. lesson learned: i love kids. i don't want to work with them in big numbers, for long periods of time, or in too-organized situations. but i love 'em just the same.
I helped out with a "take our daughters to work week" in which 30 girls from middle and high school came together to learn about work opportunities in togo and different important things like making goals, being nice, staying healthy, making good decisions, all that. i had a great time seeing the girls interact and the visible changes many of them went through. next year my friend danielle and i will be organizing the event, stay tuned, you will be hearing more about this in the upcoming months.
Like i said, i am helping out with this group of newbies, so i spent a few days back in agou to prepare for it. i LOVED getting to see my host family again. it's crazy how quickly those young'uns grow up. the little girl that i remember hanging out on my maman's back was not walking around and smiling at me and everything. next thing i know she's going to be applying for the university. being back in agou for more than a day and with people that i came in with also gave me a nostalgic feeling from the old days when we were just getting used to life here. and it's only been a year, oy.
after my time in agou i spent some time back in mpoti. it was a breakthrough time because i realized how at-home i feel there and how much my relationships have evolved. the things that used to bother me about people around me have almost become endearing. probably because i can more easily make my own frustrations known and draw my boundaries. it's sad how long it has taken me to get to this point. i still have a lot left to work on, but then again, i do still have another year here. the other day tanti was telling me how much she's going to cry when i leave next year. she's been telling me this for the past, maybe six months. i've tried to get it through her head that she's stuck with me for a while longer and the only tears she should be shedding are due to the fact that i need her help around the house so much. particularly now that i have to gas to cook with ... or food. i'm at the mercy of my neighbors for food for a while. i think it'll be a good experience. i like them and they like me. it'll work out.
that's me in a wordy nutshell right now. thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers.
peace and blessings to y'all!
i wish i was better at writing and could better describe my life right now. but because i've never been a particularly articulate person (believe it or not...), i would never be able to give it justice. i try though. and right now i'm going to just keep in simple and just share some of the highlights from the past monthish. voila.
Me and alicia did two day camps in both her and my villages with primary school students. lesson learned: i love kids. i don't want to work with them in big numbers, for long periods of time, or in too-organized situations. but i love 'em just the same.
I helped out with a "take our daughters to work week" in which 30 girls from middle and high school came together to learn about work opportunities in togo and different important things like making goals, being nice, staying healthy, making good decisions, all that. i had a great time seeing the girls interact and the visible changes many of them went through. next year my friend danielle and i will be organizing the event, stay tuned, you will be hearing more about this in the upcoming months.
Like i said, i am helping out with this group of newbies, so i spent a few days back in agou to prepare for it. i LOVED getting to see my host family again. it's crazy how quickly those young'uns grow up. the little girl that i remember hanging out on my maman's back was not walking around and smiling at me and everything. next thing i know she's going to be applying for the university. being back in agou for more than a day and with people that i came in with also gave me a nostalgic feeling from the old days when we were just getting used to life here. and it's only been a year, oy.
after my time in agou i spent some time back in mpoti. it was a breakthrough time because i realized how at-home i feel there and how much my relationships have evolved. the things that used to bother me about people around me have almost become endearing. probably because i can more easily make my own frustrations known and draw my boundaries. it's sad how long it has taken me to get to this point. i still have a lot left to work on, but then again, i do still have another year here. the other day tanti was telling me how much she's going to cry when i leave next year. she's been telling me this for the past, maybe six months. i've tried to get it through her head that she's stuck with me for a while longer and the only tears she should be shedding are due to the fact that i need her help around the house so much. particularly now that i have to gas to cook with ... or food. i'm at the mercy of my neighbors for food for a while. i think it'll be a good experience. i like them and they like me. it'll work out.
that's me in a wordy nutshell right now. thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers.
peace and blessings to y'all!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
other reasons why i'm still here
i went to the market the other day and spent a good hour or so drinking a few calabashes of tchouk ( you need to come visit me in togo to fully understand to magic that is the tchouk stand) and trying to explain to a few men why i never want to get married or have kids. whether or not that's true is irrelevant. i just thoroughly enjoyed the experience.
there's a little girl who comes by my house to just say hi and hang out from time to time. the other day she came over and we ate corn and painted our nails. it was fantastic.
i got caught in a rain storm while i was riding my bike home from alicia's. have you ever been caught in a rainstorm? you should try it some time.
there's a little girl who comes by my house to just say hi and hang out from time to time. the other day she came over and we ate corn and painted our nails. it was fantastic.
i got caught in a rain storm while i was riding my bike home from alicia's. have you ever been caught in a rainstorm? you should try it some time.
peer edu-who?
i just got done with my first training in village for peer educators. the basic idea behind this is that you teach a group of whoevers in village a variety of information and hope that they will go out and share it with their peers. i think i mentioned this somewhere before. anyhow, my homologue and i gathered 15 students and one apprentice and went through an intense training the past three days. we covered lots of topics: self-confidence, puberty and adolescence, early pregnancy and abortions, gender equity, how to facilitate a discussion, how to give advice, sexual harrassment and rape, child trafficking, peer pressure, how to speak in front of groups, hiv and aids, and some i'm sure i'm forgetting at the moment. as hard as it was at times, i think it went really well. it helped to have toni, nori, and alicia (bless their souls) come and help me with some sessions. my homologue (bless his soul) means well so he was great to work with for the most part, but there were a few times that he did things that made the whole thing more frustrating. maybe i did the same, i don't know. but that's the price you pay for working with people i guess. i need to keep reminding myself that i cannot expect perfection from people. as perfect as i may be...ahem... i know not everyone works like i do. i also need to remind myself that i'm working with young people who have not been exposed to this information as much as i have and who have a whole different set of challenges they're dealing with, so i have to remain patient and hopeful. i may not see changes now, but these things take time.
this group of peer educators is going to be my main source of work in village and i am praying that it will stay solid. i'm not banking on it being a sustainable project (sustaina-what?) just yet, we'll just take it one meeting at a time.
this group of peer educators is going to be my main source of work in village and i am praying that it will stay solid. i'm not banking on it being a sustainable project (sustaina-what?) just yet, we'll just take it one meeting at a time.
bridge troubles
there are not many paved roads in togo. if i want to get to lomé from atakpamé (i would suggest maybe looking up a map of togo at this point) , i can either go down the route nationale or take the kpalimé road. well, a couple weeks ago a bridge on the route nationale collapsed. this really sucks for anyone traveling anywhere between atakpamé and lomé. not only is it more expensive now, but the kpalimé road is getting worn down pretty good. let me also say that the kpalimé road was not that great to begin with. we're talking major pot holes. and now with so many cars and big trucks going down it, not to mention it's rainy season, the road is looking a good deal worse than it was before. i haven't had to travel that far south yet, but from the stories i hear, i'm not really looking forward to the trip i'll be making in a couple weeks. reconstruction will come eventually, but they're going to wait until the rainy season ends. we'll see if that's true.
a waragni fete
just a little peace corps togo background before i share this story. there are five regions in togo and within each region volunteers are divided into clusters. i happen to live in what many would consider the best cluster in togo ;) the pagala cluster. one of my fellow clustermates, connor, invited me to a village fete (or party, for all you non frenchies), and this is where the story begins.
i told connor that i would be at his village before 8am since the day's festivities were supposed to start around 7. me being stingy or optimistic, i decided i would bike down. it takes roughly an hour to get to pagala on bike and waragni (connor's village) is about an hour further (just under 45k in total from mpoti). i set my alarm for 5 30 in hopes of heading out around 6. my alarm clock goes off and my first thought is: cancelling this early morning bike ride is only a phone call away. so i snooze. i eventually talk myself out of my laziness and get to waragni just around 8 30.
the vast majority of people in waragni are kabiyé (not sure on the spelling), and around this time of year they have a fete to celebrate young boys who are coming of age (about 18). they hold a series of informal wresting matches through out the day in which the boys will crouch in the middle of a circle of spectators and wait for another boy to come challege them to wrestle. there are several going on at the same time, along with people playing music. barrett (a fellow pcv friend of mine who was also there) and i decided to follow suit and wrestle eachother, which got a good laugh from people watching us. i won of course.
another part of the coming of age deal is having to eat dog. each of the boys taking part of the ceremony either buys or has a dog bought for them and they cook them throughout the day in low to the ground covered paillotes (kind of like a straw hut). we were invited into two different paillotes and were given several peices of dog to eat. i think i need to apologize to several people at this point, but i won't lie, it was pretty tasty. not so much the first time around because a couple peices were not tender at all and (at least one of my peices) still had visible fur on it. but i had already picked the peice up and i couldn't just put it back. i ate it before i could think too much of what i was doing. the second time around, though, the peices were very tender. i'll just leave it at that.
i didn't get to see the dancing part of the fete since i had to get back to mpoti, but all i can say is that i am so glad i got myself out of bed that morning. i didn't have my camera but i'll try to get pictures from barrett and post them as soon as possible.
i told connor that i would be at his village before 8am since the day's festivities were supposed to start around 7. me being stingy or optimistic, i decided i would bike down. it takes roughly an hour to get to pagala on bike and waragni (connor's village) is about an hour further (just under 45k in total from mpoti). i set my alarm for 5 30 in hopes of heading out around 6. my alarm clock goes off and my first thought is: cancelling this early morning bike ride is only a phone call away. so i snooze. i eventually talk myself out of my laziness and get to waragni just around 8 30.
the vast majority of people in waragni are kabiyé (not sure on the spelling), and around this time of year they have a fete to celebrate young boys who are coming of age (about 18). they hold a series of informal wresting matches through out the day in which the boys will crouch in the middle of a circle of spectators and wait for another boy to come challege them to wrestle. there are several going on at the same time, along with people playing music. barrett (a fellow pcv friend of mine who was also there) and i decided to follow suit and wrestle eachother, which got a good laugh from people watching us. i won of course.
another part of the coming of age deal is having to eat dog. each of the boys taking part of the ceremony either buys or has a dog bought for them and they cook them throughout the day in low to the ground covered paillotes (kind of like a straw hut). we were invited into two different paillotes and were given several peices of dog to eat. i think i need to apologize to several people at this point, but i won't lie, it was pretty tasty. not so much the first time around because a couple peices were not tender at all and (at least one of my peices) still had visible fur on it. but i had already picked the peice up and i couldn't just put it back. i ate it before i could think too much of what i was doing. the second time around, though, the peices were very tender. i'll just leave it at that.
i didn't get to see the dancing part of the fete since i had to get back to mpoti, but all i can say is that i am so glad i got myself out of bed that morning. i didn't have my camera but i'll try to get pictures from barrett and post them as soon as possible.
oh how time flies
i'm on a kind of spontaneous trip down to atakpame for a meeting and thought i would take the opportunity to do some updating since i alwys feel like i have way more to share than i have the time to. so here goes.
i'm almost hitting my year mark in country. weird. i've had definite ups and downs and right now i feel i'm on a high, so it's probably a good time to be updating. they talk about different stages people go through on their service, one being questioning your progress, be it in work or cultural adjustment. i think i was stuck at that stage for a few months and have gotten to the point of accepting a couple things. first of all, i'm never going to come close to fully understanding this culture. so, the kinds of relationships i will be able to build are inevitably going to feel different than relationships i can form with people from a culture closer to my own. that being said, i think the reason why this has been the biggest challenge for me is because i believe that the most genuine and effective change happens through organic relationships. what do you do, then, when you have such a hard time building the kind of relationship you want? i'm still in the process of figuring that out. secondly, i've accepted the fact that i'm always going to be looked at as a foreigner, no matter how long i live here or how hard i try to be well integrated. i'm not sure if it's inevitable or not and i'm not sure whether it's a bad thing or not. my physical appearance and all the connotations of being a non-togolese are the first obstacle in my becoming fully integrated. people make assumptions, there are stereotypes, everyone makes them and acts accordingly. togolese are not the only ones or exempt from it. but there is not a whole lot i can, should, or necessarily want to do to change certain attributes of myself. it's cultural exchange (as frustrating as it can be sometimes) and part of the reason why i'm here in the first place. at my lowest point i was wondering why i'm spending my time and effort in a place where i'm not going to really understand most of the people i have to work and live with and where i'm always going to be looked at and treated as a foreigner. at that point i had to ask myself why i am staying and try to answer as honestly as possible. do my reasons for staying the two years outweigh my reasons for going back to the states? i've decided that they do. having family and friends in the states that i won't see for a while make it both harder and easier to stay. i'm looking forward to being with them again, but i'm fortunate to receive from them incredible support for the work that i'm doing. i also have a great support system here in togo. i don't have kind enough words to describe some of the peace corps volunteers around me and forever grateful for their friendships. despite the cultural barrier, i also recognize the invaluable relationships i've built with some of my togolese brothers and sisters. they're not always easy, but what relationship is? above all, i see how this experience is forming and changing me in ways that only spending two years in togo as a peace corps volunteer could. my worldview has expanded for sure and i've asked questions i might not have otherwise even thought of asking. i may not be changing the world (it's true, i'm not), but at least i'm gaining a new appreciation for it and *hopefully* making little changes that will contribute to the greater cause.
i'm almost hitting my year mark in country. weird. i've had definite ups and downs and right now i feel i'm on a high, so it's probably a good time to be updating. they talk about different stages people go through on their service, one being questioning your progress, be it in work or cultural adjustment. i think i was stuck at that stage for a few months and have gotten to the point of accepting a couple things. first of all, i'm never going to come close to fully understanding this culture. so, the kinds of relationships i will be able to build are inevitably going to feel different than relationships i can form with people from a culture closer to my own. that being said, i think the reason why this has been the biggest challenge for me is because i believe that the most genuine and effective change happens through organic relationships. what do you do, then, when you have such a hard time building the kind of relationship you want? i'm still in the process of figuring that out. secondly, i've accepted the fact that i'm always going to be looked at as a foreigner, no matter how long i live here or how hard i try to be well integrated. i'm not sure if it's inevitable or not and i'm not sure whether it's a bad thing or not. my physical appearance and all the connotations of being a non-togolese are the first obstacle in my becoming fully integrated. people make assumptions, there are stereotypes, everyone makes them and acts accordingly. togolese are not the only ones or exempt from it. but there is not a whole lot i can, should, or necessarily want to do to change certain attributes of myself. it's cultural exchange (as frustrating as it can be sometimes) and part of the reason why i'm here in the first place. at my lowest point i was wondering why i'm spending my time and effort in a place where i'm not going to really understand most of the people i have to work and live with and where i'm always going to be looked at and treated as a foreigner. at that point i had to ask myself why i am staying and try to answer as honestly as possible. do my reasons for staying the two years outweigh my reasons for going back to the states? i've decided that they do. having family and friends in the states that i won't see for a while make it both harder and easier to stay. i'm looking forward to being with them again, but i'm fortunate to receive from them incredible support for the work that i'm doing. i also have a great support system here in togo. i don't have kind enough words to describe some of the peace corps volunteers around me and forever grateful for their friendships. despite the cultural barrier, i also recognize the invaluable relationships i've built with some of my togolese brothers and sisters. they're not always easy, but what relationship is? above all, i see how this experience is forming and changing me in ways that only spending two years in togo as a peace corps volunteer could. my worldview has expanded for sure and i've asked questions i might not have otherwise even thought of asking. i may not be changing the world (it's true, i'm not), but at least i'm gaining a new appreciation for it and *hopefully* making little changes that will contribute to the greater cause.
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